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I hate it when a guy says, "Tell me what you want" while we're hooking up.

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That's a dumb fucking question. For future reference, men of the world, I only want one thing, and that is laides tongue on my clitoris.

If I say anything else in response to this question, it's because I'm taken aback by the idea that you think I could want anything except that. Thzt anything else has actually not occurred to me until the moment of your asking, and then I'm like, well, fuck, I'm probably supposed to say something like, I don't know, "I want your huge cock in my wet pussy" or something.

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But I don't want to say that because 1. It doesn't sound like me, and 2.

That's not what I want. I just want Any ladies that wanna be eaten out to eat me out, and I want Lady seeking hot sex Swan to do it for a long time with varying speeds, pressures, and tongue patterns until I tell you "Don't stop," which is your cue that I'm going to come soon, and at this point you should maintain a constant speed, pressure, and tongue pattern until I orgasm.

You'll be able to tell when this happens, trust me. Then, if you know what you're doing or if you just didn't realize that all of that muscle contracting and hair grabbing and shouting I was doing was indicative of my orgasmyou will take a second break and return to eating me out, because multiple orgasms are easily achieved and, like, wow, really awesome.

Orgasms are awesome in general because they make you feel like a beautiful woman, and being eaten out is also like that because guys who are good at it usually really appreciate vaginas. A lot of my girlfriends are like, "You know, I just don't like it.

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I just don't! It's weird, you know? What if he's just doing this because, after centuries of stifling women's rights and opinions, he feels obligated to?

My type tends to be the kind of guy who calls himself a feminist, so I often encounter the guy who just eats girls out because he feels obligated to make up for years of female oppression. You can tell this type of guy because he generally just flicks his tongue around in the same way until you lose sensation.

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This is annoying. I'm like, you know, man, if you're just going to half-ass it, can I just give you a beejay and we'll call it a night?

oht Like, I appreciate the gesture, but it's obviously just a gesture, and now not only am I not going to get off, but I also feel like a charity case. There's this stigma about eating girls out, I think.

Sometimes I'll be eating dinner with some of my douchebag gay guy friends and they'll be like, "Ew, vaginas are gross and slimy!

Like, I know we have a shared interest in the peen, OK, but that doesn't mean you can insult my genitalia!

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That just makes getting eaten out even more stressful because sometimes my douchebag straight guy friends tell me that my genitalia is gross and slimy, too. The only time it hasn't been stressful for me is lladies I was in a loving relationship, but it took a long time for it to get to that point and then when it finally did, it was really not a loving relationship anymore. Sorry for all the heteronormativity, btw. I only have experience being eaten out by Any ladies that wanna be eaten out and feeling anxiety about being ladiew out by men.

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Any ladies that wanna be eaten out

Being eaten out by a woman is probably way different. I have tried many times to imagine myself being eaten out by a woman, but I can't do it. I want to be able Any ladies that wanna be eaten out because I'm progressive and stuff, but I just can't. I've also tried to imagine lavies eating a girl out because I like to be good at things and I bet I'd be good eaetn it, but I can't do that, either. Anyway, I guess I should include some more substantial qualitative analysis.

Um, let's see.

Urban Dictionary: eating out

Being eaten out feels like your partner is scratching an itch you didn't realize you had until he or she caressed it in delicate circles with his or her glorious tongue.

Then it feels way better than that.

I don't think being eaten out can really be painful. It would be pretty difficult for teeth to be involved, I think. Though I guess there could be a sucking issue?

What It Feels Like To Be Eaten Out | Thought Catalog

I have experienced that a couple of times, I guess. My opinion on the matter of sucking is that it shouldn't happen at all, but maybe some girls like that.

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Guys do it fairly often, but to me it feels like you're going to rip my clit off. Not good. This post originally appeared on Thought Catalog. Republished with permission.

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